The Forbidden Question

There's a question that people always ask me that I hate: Seen any good movies lately? Whenever I hear this I feel like saying, "Why yes I have. I've also seen some great ones, some passable ones, some mediocre ones, some bad ones and one or two that are about one step above a war crime," and walk away.

What is this questions really asking? For a recommendation? For some sort of insight into my life? To know what I've been up to in my spare time? No, I fear that what people are looking for when they ask this question is whether or not I'm going to say something good about a movie they want to see or just have. That's why I hate answering that question, because it`s total slight of hand: it doesn`t ask what it really wants to know.

What's you favourite movie, I was asked the other day. My response was honest and true and not sad with irony or snobbery, "You've never heard of it." The answer to the question is La Dolche Vita and my assumption was right, which meant, this person gained nothing from asking it and I gained nothing from answering it. His follow-up, "What's your favourite movie that I may have seen?" Sigh.

And there it is. Now the pressure is on me to rack my brain in order to think of something that both I love and this person may have heard of. Why should I have to filter my brain like that when neither of us has anything to gain from my answer. The pressure was intense. Why do people do this to people who say they love movies? It is infuriating.

Instead, what I tell people to do is just ask me if I've seen a specific movie and cut out the pussy-footing altogether. At least in this scenario my answer can spark a meaningful or, at the very least, enjoyable conversation that is focused and direct and saves from that awkward silence as both parties comb their brains as quickly as possible for a segue into a new topic of conversation.

That way, I also know exactly what people want from me. If someone asks me "what's playing that's good right now," I need to not only scramble to remember what is playing at the moment, but I now also don't have the responsibility of sending someone to see A Serious Man when what they really wanted to see was Couples Retreat.

When someones asks, "Hey, have you seen Up in the Air yet?" I can respond simply, "Ya, it's great. You should definitely see it." The ball is thus in the opponents court and what they now decide to do with it is totally up to them. And I'm fine with that. I could talk all day about movies, why would I want to put that burden on someone who doesn't care for it?

So if one day, you are visiting North York or are walking the halls of Seneca College and you stumble upon me and want to know what is good, don`t ask me, because I honestly don`t know. I can only be responsible for what I like. If on the other hand, you want to know why I like it well, give me a call, we`ll talk.