Have You Ever Regretted A Review?

One of the most frequent question any critic gets is whether or not they have ever changed their minds about something after the review has been written and published. I think about this sometimes as I read back over my old work but the only conclusion I ever come to is that, although I would change the wording, the grammer, the flow, and the overall mechanics of some reviews, I would still pretty much convey those same ideas today as I did on the day the review was written. Except once.

Back in the tail end of 2009 I got an e mail through Suite101.com from a producer from Florida asking me if I would review his new indie film. Of course I felt for his cause, know how hard it is for small films to make a name for themselves, and know that every little bit of good publicity counts. When you're an indie filmmaker one of the things you find out quickly is that you basically need to get out there and get every audience member you can, one at a time.

So I agreed and some weeks later a screener showed up in my mailbox. It was a film called Patsy. So, I set all my schoolwork aside and popped it into my DVD player. The film ran less than an hour and a half and was nearly unwatchable. What was I to do? Here was this guy who was waiting for me to post a review of his film, which he must obviously be proud of, and I was going to publish on the Internet how badly this thing sucked?

So I did something I've never done in a review before. I lied. I said, while trying to heap as little praise in it's direction as possible, that the film was a good first effort, that people who like David Lynch might enjoy it, that it was funny in a strange sort of way and so on. Although the Lynch comparison was a just one, Patsy was a combination as all of Lynch's worst qualities: pretentious, annoying, unfunny, nonsensical. I'd try to tell you what Patsy is about but I have no idea. The story spins out of control towards nowhere in particular, the comedic moments are juvenile and unfunny and kill whatever tone the film is working for, and the acting is bad, bad, bad. Apparently other people feel into the same trap as me because I was shocked to find a lot of positive publicity for the movie on IMDB after it showed at a film festival in Florida.

In a way, I feel bad that I didn't like the film, but I feel even worse that I was dishonest with myself. As a critic I have the freedom to voice my true experience of a film and for the first (and last) time in my life I had not done that. There is a lesson here that I want to depart upon anyone willing to take it: Always stay true to yourself and your voice, never doubt your craft and don't be afraid to call a bad film a bad film. That's our job as film reviewers. That's our obligation.

Read my Patsy review here